This is really amusing for one and all to read.


Machine code is your pseudo code

You trust that by means of a linker or a macro library to make a program is "dirty", a real programmer does not get baffled when the source code get to 6000 lines in one file

You suppose that PC playoffs are a squander of CPU cycles.

While you are at a monetary firm coding for mainframes in mainframe assembly (the manager inform him to code in Assembly rather than machine code so the other 'normal' programmers may possibly be aware of what is going on)

You construct your individual programming languages and provide them crappy names.

You were not being fond of multicore systems. You accept as true that if you cannot formulate a program to run fast enough on a single core, you are not a programmer.

You will never utilize operating system interrupts ... you make your own.

If your random number generator creates the random numbers from zero to infinity in 5 seconds, you believe it as very slow.

You consider that remarking the source code is for the amateur.

You don't make use of computers outside of work. You will not have belief on other programmer's code.

You judge that technologies like PHP, Python or VBA were not a programming language- it is only scripting language.

You don't want to use Object Orientation for the reason that it makes your work trouble-free. In any case you wish for a challenge.

C++ and APL programming languages was a toy to you.

Someone point out the languages like VB and JAVA to you, you will give a punch them on the head.

Even if your code has been typed up, it was already optimized.

You get clear of the Back Space key on the Keyboard as you do not make any mistakes.

You don't like to have any book or notepads; it's all in your head.

Your programs are not user friendly, even if they are bug free.

You have a nightmare of creating your own CPU for yourself one day and maintain it in your parent's garage.

You thought that IDE's, Programmer Tools and Syntax Highlighters are for people who do not be familiar with what they are doing.

You return back the computer mouse to the technician, with a screw driver stabbed through it. Real programmers will make use of command prompt only.

If the client does not be fond of what you perform for them, you think that the client is an idiot and you say "No" to alter anything.

Who wants friends when you can program your own friends.

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